Tag Archive | jared

2.9 Wherein Death Comes Sooner than Expected

The Samples, with the new addition, sat down to a family meal, not realizing that this was the last meal they would have together with this roster.

At the ripe old (and undeserving age) of 96 days, it’s time for Jared to go.

And the Grim Reaper’s time to come for his due.

Farewell, Jared. You were an amazing pain in the ass. You couldn’t even pick a helpful time to bite it.

You pretty much deserve whatever the afterlife has to offer you.

Though, for some reason, your family will miss you, especially now that they won’t have to deal with you.

I can totally understand why this would be hard on Connor. Despite Jared’s assholitude to everyone else, he and Connor were always close.

And even Susie. After a while, you even get used to sources of deep irritation.

But didn’t Lance hate this guy?

And Layla, did you even exchange two sentences with him?

Really, though, I’ll probably miss him the most. The random conflict and rudeness made the whole family a whole lot more fun. He leaves a hole that will probably be filled with more saccharine and sweetness.

Or maybe he’ll come back as a ghost.

2.8 Till Death Do We Part

There was only one thing on everyone’s mind’s.

Tomorrow was the big day. Lance and Layla tried to calm their jitters with gardening and martial arts books, respectively.

Before going to sleep, Lance achieved his red belt in Sim Fu.

I’m sure that chair is terrified.

The next morning, Susie made breakfast for everyone.

Jared, of all people, desperately wanted to plan this event, so the family let him with some trepidation. (Huh? Jared suddenly has a wish to throw a formal wedding party?)

They piled into the car to head to the church.

Except, well, the father of the groom, who had an attack of brain fart.

Should have seen that coming. I’d way it was old age, but this is a man who was late to his OWN wedding.

The bride couldn’t hold in her enthusiasm.

The guests piled in.

Including a whole bunch of people who weren’t even invited. Some of them the Samples had never seen before. Think you’re going to get a free piece of cake, huh?

And since when does Jared moon over love?

And bringing up the rear is Connor, who finally remembered that something important was going on today.

Of course, the only vehicle left was Lance’s bike. How fast can he pedal? Will he make it?

Just in time. Whew.

With this ring…

I thee wed…

And all my worldly possessions I thee endow.

You may kiss the bride.

By the authority invested in us by the Grim Reaper, till death do us part.

The air is filled with the sobs and sniffles of the guests.

Though some let their minds wander.

And, well, it was a risk to invite Malika, but the offensive stink came from another direction this time.

Fortunately, she really cranked up the BO after all the important stuff was over. But it did lead to a mass exodus after the vows.

Congratulations from the father of the groom.

Lance: Are we good now?


But maybe we should just stay apart.

I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Lancelot and Layla Sample.

This is cause for celebration! Everyone dance!

Now for the best part.

(I had a dollhouse extravaganza with this. The church and Layla’s wedding gown are downloads from Mod the Sims and The Sims Resource. I’ve always been baffled as to why there’s no church or really any good wedding venue that comes with the game, and the idea of a Grim Reaper church was just awesome. I also got Layla’s veil from The Sims Resource, and it seems to be the only one in existence, which shocks me. Though it was rendered stiffly, and the game couldn’t handle collision detection for it, so I can see how it might be a pain.)

2.7 Career Moves

Time and arthritis were starting to give Connor real trouble.

But he couldn’t let that keep him from his life’s passion.

(Some aftermath of installing awesomemod led something in Connor’s data to get screwed up. He walked around for about a day and a half with his arms twisted in an impossible position. I really should have made a video, b/c still shots just don’t give a feel for how weird it was.)

In fact, he pounded the keys so hard that he broke the computer, JUST as he hit enter to send the new manuscript to his publisher. The book was a raging success, so the computer had not died in vain.

Way to lift a finger, Lancelot.

Jared had always slacked off at his job, but after talking with Rachel, something new started burning in his brain. He might not be a real father, but maybe he’d be a top chef.

Layla’s new job wasn’t her best fashion statement

But she was promoted on her first full day.

Meanwhile, Susie had an autograph session at the stadium that was a total bomb. Only two people showed, one of whom was her old friend Aimee, Malika Williams’ mother. And Aimee didn’t even want an autograph. She just wanted to catch up.

Had Susie’s career peaked? She had to admit that the strain of putting on big concerts was less fun than it used to be. Her fanbase was growing older. It was starting to feel like she was just putting in her time.

After a lot of thought, she took the big step.

She called the theater and retired from her band.

And returned to what had made her love performing in the first place.

Make ’em dance, Susie.

2.5 Just a Little Too Late

Lancelot and Connor got word that Lance’s best friend from high school, Julian Ursine’s, big sister just got married. That stopped Jared in his tracks.

You see, Claire Ursine, Julian’s mom, had lived next door to them in the old cottage. He and Claire had had an on-and-off, no-strings-attached thing. When he sat down and did the math, it became pretty clear — Julian Ursine’s big sister Rachel was his daughter.

Jared dropped by Claire’s old house after work the next day.

By then, though, he’d already received word that Rachel’s new husband was dead. He’d died on their wedding night. (Dude, seriously? The game killed some guy on his wedding night?)

It might not be great time for Rachel’s father to turn up on her doorstep, but he was already committed.

She greeted him cordially enough.

But it was clear she was having a rough time.

Some old habits just don’t die. He tried to be friendly, but eventually his true colors came through.

It turned out his daughter was just like him.

But that probably meant that shouldn’t be in the same room together. Maybe if they took the time, they could fight it out and find common ground. But it just seemed too late for that.

Jared took a cab home, wondering about could-have-beens.

At home, he danced alone to make the thoughts go away.

But found himself with unexpected company.

He had family here, at least, who had put up with his sorry ass his whole life.

Dance that jitterbug, Jared. Or is it ladybug?

(Man, without completely micromanaging Jared, there’s just no way to keep him from being an asshole.)

2.2 That’s Because the Hot Babes all Went to Egypt

Uncle Jared never did get off Lancelot’s ass.

Um, wow, Jared, he can really kick your butt into next week now. Did you notice that?

Lance took his next trip to Egypt and set himself up at the base camp.

He hunted up a bit more treasure.

And found some secret passageways.

And hit on chicks. He met a few completely incompatible ones, including the relics dealer in the bizarre, who just immediately hated everything about him. I have seen Sims take to each other immediately, but never to hate each other immediately.

So he called up an Egyptian chick he was already acquainted with from the hotel he stayed at in France.

She turned out to have recently been dumped.

Was this an opportunity? Was there chemistry? She turned out to be Childlike, like his mom, and they spent a lot of time that evening playing tag. He talked her up until she was his friend, so he could call her later and invite her to visit him in the States.

Then, another alluring woman, this one Chinese, at base camp.

Also single! He stayed up until five in the morning, engrossed in conversation with her, and then slept into the afternoon.

Then, as he was puttering around, trying to do something with the next day before it was totally wasted, he found an Egyptian girl wandering through the camp.

Her name was Layla Lufti. She was a Vegetarian like him. She was also Excitable and Flirty.


1.10 Conspicuous Consumption

Connor dabbled in writing Science Fiction and Drama, which didn’t bring in much money. Then he launched the Whodunnit mystery crime series, and his writing career took off. (Whodunnit, Whatdunnit, Whendunnit, Wheredunnit, and Howdunnit. Whendunnit made a nice showing on the NYT Bestseller list and maybe be optioned for a movie.) With that, his respectable journalism career, and Susie’s superstardom, the money really started rolling in. It was time to upgrade their lifestyle.

They shopped around for quite a while. (Read: I browsed all over fan sites to find a house I really liked and they could actually afford.) But eventually they found one that worked for them and me.

The whole family packed up and said goodbye to the cottage across the street from the beach.

Piled into Susie’s limo.

And said hello to a three-story Victorian on a cliff overlooking the bay. The third story was unfinished, but it was ready for expansion in the future. It was perfect for their new budget.

The move in was confusing, of course.

Lance jumped on the space-themed kid’s room, because, you know, you don’t have to be a LITTLE kid to appreciate that. Jared got bumped to the lavender room. Connor and Susie bunked down in luxury in the master bedroom.

Lance moved his weight set the to the attic and turned that into his gym.

To top it all off, they went green and bought a 2010 Prius. Time to stop relying entirely on bikes and car services.

(An exact clone of the car that we bought this year, down to the color and the tinted windows. I’m sure that was part of Toyota’s marketing reasoning in releasing the car as a game object. I am probably not the only hybrid-interested Sims player.)

1.6 Speaking of Uncle Jared

Jared Frio entered his twilight years the same way he’d led the rest of his life: an obnoxious, mean-spirited, bully.

He played practical jokes on his family, like sneaking up behind to scare them (though this one, being in plain sight, didn’t go off as planned).

He danced around naked (OK, here he’s actually changing clothes after a bath, but it’s funny anyway).

He left the stereo running non-stop, all hours of the day. When there was music playing near him, which was pretty much all the time, he danced. When anyone was near, he’d pull them away to dance with him, whether they liked it or not.

And I mean anyone.

He hit on the hired help.

He yelled at people and insulted them he’d had a bad day, or because he was bored, or because it amused him.

Sometimes he blew things up.

He terrorized little Lancelot when he was a kid, but now that he was a teenager, something fundamental in him snapped. He stopped putting up with Jared’s crap and started lashing back.

If Jared so much as attempted something mean to Lancelot or the rest of the family, Lancelot was on his ass. And Jared could dish it out, but he couldn’t take it so well. Soon, even the pretense of family affection burned away.

Things got a little bit tense in the Sample household. Susie and Connor laughed and changed the subject whenever Jared and Lance looked like they might blow up at each other. The less time they spent in the same room together, the better.

1.5 Unhappy Birthday

Lancelot was such an unmemorable elementary schooler that I failed to take many pictures of him. He didn’t say much, and he spent most of his time doing good-boy things like working on his homework. Susie was spending most of her time promoting herself and her band, but Connor always made time for his son.

Lancelot tried in vain to get the attention of Malika Williams at school. When throwing spit balls at her head failed, he managed to get her to come home with him from school once and play. She found his dollhouse and played the whole afternoon, excluding him.

Then, before we knew it, it was Lance’s birthday again. As it turned out, he shared a birthday with Uncle Jared, so they had a joint party.

Lance blew out the candles.

And aged into a teen. He became Brave!

He inherited his mom’s weight, but otherwise is not a bad-looking fellow.

Jared also became a swinging senior.

But here’s where I learned the power of the birthday party compulsion over simple human needs. Unbeknowst to me, Lancelot really needed to pee when I told him to blow out those candles. But he did what I told him to. The party gathered around to cheer him on, and he basked in their adoration while the pressure in his bladder increased. Afterward, instead of going to the bathroom, he went to get a slice of his birthday cake because, hey, that’s what you do after you blow out that candle.

The result of this was that he peed himself while standing in line for cake, standing right in front of Malika!

Utterly humiliated, he got out a mop to cleanup his own mess while everyone complained of the stink. He’d never be able to show his face to Malika again. He was barely a teenager, and his life was over.

1.2 Yay Married Life

Susie moved in with Connor and the honeymoon was on.

They just couldn’t get enough of each other.

Connor was putting in his time as a journalist for the paycheck, but his real dream was to be a fiction author. Since he enjoyed being alone, he would often come home from work only to spend hours at the computer writing.

Though Connor was not rich by Sim standards, life with him was a big step up for Susie. He lived in a lovely 2-bedroom cottage across the street from the beach. The view from the back deck was breathtaking.

There was just one little problem with this arrangement. Connor lived with his older brother Jared. And Jared was an asshole of the first degree.

The problem was that Connor was devoted to his brother. He and Susie had words about him continuing to live with them. I mean, seriously, did a married man need to share a place with his brother? Really? And yet somehow Jared never actually moved out. Connor might be quiet and shy, but he was no pushover. Susie ended up learning to live with him.

(I took a look at this guy’s personality traits and almost moved him out. But then it occurred to me that having an asshole NPC running around the house might be good for some fun. So I left Jared in the house, but I left him to the AI to control.)