Simfail: Adjo! Don’t Go!

Sep22

I’m a poet, and I don’t know it.

Woo. So, actually getting Adjo out of the house turned out to be a cluster of Simfail.

First of all, you’ll notice that there’s no glittering engagement ring and no vows in Adjo’s story. This would be because, for some reason that only makes sense to them, the developers of The Sims 3 decided that nobody was allowed to become engaged or get married in an eight-person household. They are, however, allowed to go steady. I cannot fathom what they were thinking. One of the primary ways of moving characters out of a household is to marry them. WTF? And why allow boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, but not engagement, since neither of them involves any kind of household change? The world may never know.

My original intent was for Adjo to propose to Toya in the park. But they did everything but have Whoohoo on a park bench, and I couldn’t get the Propose interaction option. So I looked it up online and discovered the developers’ folly. Now I was left with two choices: move him out and hope the story progression would figure out that he was supposed to marry Toya and move in with her, or try to hack it with mods. Now, I am running Twallan’s StoryProgression rather than the base game, so I probably could have done that. If I were running the base game and moved Adjo out without actually marrying them, then Toya would probably have had babies by immaculate conception, and Adjo would have left town. But I wanted them to get married in MY GAME.

So I tried to hack it. I used Twallan’s MasterController to set their relationship status to engaged, which it let me do. Then it let me hold a wedding party for them. But when it came time to do the deed, you guessed it: no option to get married. Couldn’t pull one over on them. Sigh.

So I decided that Adjo would move out then and there and buy the starter home I had picked out for him. Then I’d use Twallan’s mods to move Toya in with him. So he tried to move out, and the game hung. At least three times before I clued in that it wasn’t going to work. At first I thought that maybe you can’t move out during your own wedding party, so I loaded a save before the party happened, and STILL the game hung when I tried to move him out.

This appears to be an unrelated bug related to the joys of World Adventures. I love World Adventures with a burning passion, but it is not to be played by the faint of heart. In fact, I wouldn’t advise playing it without Twallan’s Overwatch at the very least. It is filled with game data-corrupting bugs that can ruin your legacy right quick. I apparently took my legacy in my own hands by inviting Layla over from Egypt and having Lance marry her before I discovered that mod. The only thing that happened there was that Layla’s family tree was wiped out. But friends and acquaintances have had really nasty things happen when their sim returns from vacation. At any rate, it appears that there’s some kind of obscure bug that makes the game hang on move-out if there is too much tomb-raiding swag in the house. Huh? Lance’s whole career was tomb raiding. The house his filled with swag. It wasn’t even clear that I would be able to fix it by removing the swag.

According to forums, the best way to deal with this bug is for a Sim in a bugged household to get married on a community lot and move away from there. The lot would presumably have no WA swag in it. Which would work IF ADJO WERE ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED.

So I threw another mod at it. I used Twallan’s mods again to set Adjo and Toya’s relationship status to married. Then I used them to move Adjo out of his household, Toya out of hers, and both of them into the little starter home. As a result, the Sample household funds were not used to buy the house. Instead, Adjo got fresh startup funds. But I am taking the !@#$ money and counting toward my legacy because I have !@#$ earned it.

That pretty much solved it.

And without further ado, bloopers!

Shanni opens her dresser drawer in embarrassing closeup.

After breaking up, Shanni and Jake had trouble breaking up, if you know what I mean.

Adjo and Toya take, “One heart, one mind” a little too seriously.

The lawn gnome spies on two hot chicks in their underwear.

Zahra takes time out from Fabian’s apology for cheating to tell him that he stinks.

While Adjo was getting his marriage license, it was apparently very windy in the park.

3.29 Into the Unknown

Sep22

Making a living from his music wasn’t easy. Adjo hadn’t thought it would be, but he had no idea just how hard the truth was.

He started out his busking career working just a few hours in the evening, but soon he was out from the afternoon far into the night. He played until his fingers bled, which is hard to recover from when you have to go out and play with those same sore fingers the next night. He built his calluses fast.

(Spoken by someone who actually does play a stringed instrument. I’ve never been so dedicated as to play till my fingers bled, but I’ve certainly made myself sore. :-p)

But soon he was drawing modest crowds.

They weren’t half the crowds that Grandmother Susie had drawn with that same guitar, but they generated enough tips that a guy could support himself. And maybe someone else. Provided that someone else also had a job.

(Adjo actually drew better crowds than this, but I failed to get a picture.)

“Hey stranger.”

Adjo felt suddenly self-conscious. He’d played for almost everyone in town except the one person whose opinion mattered most. “Hey. I was going to call you.”

“Don’t stop,” Toya said. “It was good.”

Even that little bit of praise made Adjo’s heart sing. “I’m glad you like it. But, um, I wanted to see you tonight anyway. To, um, talk” With trembling fingers, he packed up the guitar.

“That sounds dangerous,” Toya said. “Talk about what?”

It came gushing out. “My tips have been going up all week. I’m making enough to move out now.”

Toya’s face lit up. “Really? Wow!”

She pulled away and leaned her forehead against his. “I think I know just the way to celebrate.”

And she did.

It was a good think Shanni was such a good sport. She didn’t complain once about sleeping in the kids’ room again.

Afterward, as they lay gazing into each other’s eyes, Adjo almost whispered, “Toya Ursine, will you marry me?”

“Sure I will,” Toya said. And as they drifted off to sleep, she added, “Silly.”

In the morning, Adjo got up to shower alone.

(Included because I take a lot of shower shots, and I think they look really cool, and there’s never a reason to use one.)

Shanni cornered Toya in her bedroom. “I just wanted to give you the obligatory, ‘Hurt my brother and I’ll kill you’ speech.”

(Wow. Toya’s sleepwear is kind of amazing.)

Toya gave her a secret smile. “Hurting him wasn’t what I had in mind. Unless he likes that.”

“Your family–“

Toya waved her hand. “Look, I’ve warned that boy off as many ways as I know how. He knows what he’s getting into. But if you’re worried about me, don’t be. The last thing I want is to make him regret treating me like a gentleman.”

And with that, Shanni had to be satisfied.

The next day, Adjo gave his news to the other menfolk.

“She’s the one for me.”

“I can see that.”

“Yup.”

Then he made a trip to City Hall to get his marriage license and all the paperwork in order.

This was it. Last chance to back out.

(What he’s actually doing here is about the closest equivalent to getting a marriage license. He’s changing his last name so that the married couple will have the name I want.)

When the day came, the house was all ready.

Adjo worried to anyone who would listen.

(Hey, CourtneyHelen! It’s Kate!)

The bride arrived alone.

Her mother was sick, and her father had “business to attend to.”

(Actually, Rachel was invited and didn’t show. It turns out that nobody has actually MET Harvey in the Sample family. I used three different characters to plan this party, and none of them could invite him.)

Shanni arrived in the nick of time after a long day of work.

Toya wasn’t entire abandoned by her family, though. Her half-brother Jess was there to give her away.

Shanni felt a bit forlorn to be attending her brother’s wedding stag, watching him waltz off to his happily-ever-after while she was single. She half-heartedly hit on Jess, but he had a girlfriend he was devoted to. Even Shanni wouldn’t touch that.

Adjo’s best best friend, Malcolm Landgraab was there as best man,.

And I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Ursine-Sample.

You may kiss the bride.

And after, there were the expected festivities.

Whoops! And even a bottle for Ada.

And that, my friends, is how Adjo Sample joined the family. You know what kind of family I mean.

Best wishes, Adjo.

(*Sniffle* It’s hard to believe, but Adjo is the first Sim I have ever moved out in the entire time I’ve been playing Sims 3. He left the household with his lifetime wish of Super Popular fulfilled and ~70,000 happiness points. Part of me wanted to keep him and see if I could take a shot at 100,000, but the truth is that there were eight Sims in the house, and I was going nuts. Also, having a full house had some unexpected consequences coming up in a Simfail rant.

BTW: Adjo and Toya hyphenated because I like the idea of the descendants of legacy spares floating around the town generations later, and me always knowing what family branch they came from. I’m setting the Ursine-Sample household to “legacy surname” in Twallan’s story progression mod.)

3.28 Expectations

Sep20

Meanwhile….

Shanni worked harder at her new job than she’d ever worked at anything in her life.

Beau Andrews, the veteran stylist, took her under his wing. He was kind to her about her mistakes, but there were a lot of them.

Malika Williams wasn’t terribly thrilled with her new fun in the sun look.

But at least she was polite, which was more than could be said of Jamie Jolina-Alvi.

(A styled Sim exits the styler in the last outfit designed for her. I keep forgetting this and doing swimwear last because it’s last on the list. So my “after” shots are almost always in swimsuits! Argh!)

Shanni was terrified of damaging the salon’s business, but Beau told her not to worry. The salon was getting pretty popular and high-profile, and she wasn’t the only stylist there. That really meant that he kicked ass at his job, and he didn’t figure her screwups would damage his reputation. Besides, he was giving customers a trainee discount for her services, so they could take what they got and be happy with it.

Beau might seem a bit cocky, but he did know his stuff. A few days after Shanni started work, Governor Tori Kimura showed up to get a new look for her upcoming campaign.

She turned the whole thing into a little pre-campaign stop, complete with some prepared remarks.

Shanni was probably not going to vote for her.

Beau was so smooth about the whole thing, and Tori was delighted with the results. The salon was going to be in the news for sure.

And afterward, he passed out from stress, which left Shanni a little nervous about what she was getting herself into.

Looking to unwind, she walked to the park on her break and ran into Jake Roland. After what seemed like a nice chat, he abruptly ran off on her.

Jake and Mortimer were making a pattern, Shanni thought bitterly. She must have “Mankiller” written on her forehead or something.

But Jake called her the next day to apologize. He’d been paged for work. He was a social worker, and there was an incident with one of his kids. To make it up to her, he proposed a date at the art museum. Shanni’s low self esteem surged immediately, and she happily accepted.

Things sort of progressed from there.

Absolutely everyone loved Jake.

Dad must have congratulated her on her taste in men a dozen times. Adjo and Fabian made “guy time” for him whenever he dropped by.

(I can’t capture, this, but this is a traffic-jam of maleness when Jake walks through the door. Adjo, Lance, and Fabian (off-screen) all mobbed him autonomously with a stack of social wishes.)

After they’d been dating a little while, Shanni invited him to stay the night. He was very appreciative.

Then he slept chastely by her side, leaving Shanni to wonder what exactly was going on in their relationship.

He even got up before she did and did all the dirty dishes from the night before.

No wonder her family wanted her to keep him.

“You’re an amazing woman,” Jake gushed as she was getting ready for work. “And I’m so glad you appreciate that I want to wait for marriage before getting too intimate.”

“Um, what?” Shanni said. “Did we talk about this?”

“We did!” Jake said. “I’m, um, sure we did! Didn’t we?”

It didn’t take long for Shanni to realize what a terrible mistake she’d made. She was out to find men to have fun with. Jake wanted all the unfun parts as soon as possible; he was shopping for a wife and mother of his children. Talk about an encyclopedia of Things Shanni Sample Wasn’t Ready For.

She had to cut him loose before it got worse. She felt like an ass.

She had to get out of there before the oppressive air of ex-boyfriendness suffocated her. And Jake needed to get his stuff and leave with dignity.

Zahra gave her a rueful smile as she dashed out the door.

New rule: Check expectations BEFORE asking the guy to stay the night.

(Heh. So the story here is that I was testing out the “Moar Interactions” mod, and I instructed both of them to go to bed. I thought this was going to get them to both relax in bed so that I could access the on-bed interactions like Woohoo! Instead, it sent them both to sleep. Whoops. I looked up Jake, and he’s Family Oriented, along with Frugal and Neat, so this seemed like a good in-game explanation.)

3.27 For Real

Sep15

Fabian woke up in the morning, and Zahra wasn’t there. Trembling with panic, he dashed down the stairs to find Ada. His daughter was sleeping in her crib. Zahra was sleeping beside Adjo in Shanni’s old teenager bed. He let out a sigh of relief.

Zahra’s eyes snapped open. “You,” she said.

“I was afraid you’d…” Fabian began breathlessly. “I want you to know how sorry I am.”

She got up and made the bed, refusing to look at him. “You said that last night.” Then she headed to the shower.

“But if you would just calm down and –“

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Zahra shouted.

Fabian left her alone.

(Note: Do not EVER tell a betrayed Sim to calm down.)

He stumbled into the kitchen. His wife was ready to kill him, and now he had to go to work and pretend everything was all right on about three hours of sleep. (For real. That fight lasted almost all night, and his energy bar is still orange. I thought maybe espresso would help, but the poor guy hit the crashing moodlet before the work day was over.)

The rest of the family drifted in for breakfast while he was drinking his chemical courage. He didn’t want to see any of them.

“Hi,” Shanni said softly as she sat down.

“Do you know what happened last night?” Fabian asked.

“Most of the neighborhood knows what happened last night.”

“Wonderful. Hey, Charles.”

“I don’t think I’m supposed to be talking to you,” Charles said and suddenly became absorbed in his homework. Fabian winced.

“Zahra’s the most important thing that has ever happened to me,” Fabian said. “I have to find a way to win her trust back. You’re her sister, Shanni. How do I convince her I’m for real?”

Shanni sighed. “I don’t really know what’s going on, and maybe it’s better if I don’t know for now. The rumors about you and Agnes have hit the salon, and they’re pretty bad. I won’t lie to you. Zahra’s not all that quick to forgive. Do what you can to make it right and show her that it won’t happen again. Give her some space, but not too much.”

“No problem,” Fabian said bitterly.

The drive to work was quiet and awkward.

“Heard you cheated on your wife,” his boss remarked. “Make sure you keep that kind of stuff out of your job.”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

When Fabian got home from work, Zahra was sitting on the back porch with Ada.

“I’m sowwwy,” Ada whimpered.

“Sorry!” Zahra said. “Sorry for what!”

“You and Daddy are mad!”

Zahra swept Ada into her arms. “We’re not mad at you,” she said fiercely. “Never at you.”

“She’s not a threat to you,” Fabian said softly. “She never was.”

Zahra cuddled Ada. “Why don’t you play in your room for a while. I’ll talk to Daddy out here.” When she’d closed the door to the children’s room behind her, she looked Fabian in the eyes. “OK, talk.”

“We’ve been seeing each other for years. It was a no-strings-attached thing. We knew we weren’t right for each other. I guess after you and I got together, we didn’t really stop to think that things needed to change. But once you were in the picture, we never… you know….”

“I don’t think I know anything,” Zahra said.

“We never had sex,” Fabian spit out. “We just talked.”

“I see.”

“Look, you can have the bed tonight. I’ll sleep on the sofa. I can give you all the space you need. But please don’t throw our marriage away. I’ll do anything I can to make this right.”

Zahra thought for a minute. “Thanks for the bed,” she said. “Ada needs to be fed and get ready to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Fabian watched her walk up the stairs, then put on a smile and turned into Ada’s room.

They had a beautiful daughter together. If there was nothing else, that had to be the tie that binds.

Zahra lay awake for a long time, wondering when it would be clear to her what to do.

(Seriously, according to the reputation page, Fabian and Agnes were a thing for *14 days*, but never got above romantic interest, so I didn’t know about it. As of this writing, more than a Sim-week in the future, she’s still listed as his longest relationship. I didn’t want to wrap this up in an, “It’s all a misunderstanding” storyline. Those get old. So, since the game thinks Fabian and Agnes were a thing, I’m saying they really were. But I figure that since he’d neither talked to nor seen Agnes since he came under my control, I decided it was safe to say he hadn’t actually committed infidelity. Though, it’s kind of amusing that the game has given him the cheater reputation for cheating on Agnes with Zahra, since Agnes came first, and he HAS obviously been fooling around with Zahra.)

BTW: I’m knocking out a few posts now because I’m going be gone for four days to a wedding. First air travel with the baby. Wish me luck!)

3.26 Trust

Sep15

Fabian couldn’t be more delighted about Ada.

And Zahra couldn’t walk near him without getting a dose of what he thought of her.

He told everyone who would listen, over and over again, that he’d never been happier in his life.

Soon, it was Ada’s birthday

She grew into a vivacious little toddler with wisps of her father’s jet-black hair and the light green eyes — Susie’s light green eyes — that both parents shared.

Her first word was “play.”

But she meant something different than her parents assumed.

Fabian was working long hours as a beat cop, and even when he wasn’t working he was pulled off to work-related events like hangout time with Hank Goddard and the others at the diner. He spent a lot of time with his family, but as the long days of maternity leave crept on, Zahra began to feel his absence. When she wasn’t watching Ada, she was in the garden. Every day, she brought armloads of produce into town to sell to the farmer’s market.

It was there that she saw two people whispering to each other and casting her strange looks.

“What?” she demanded. “You’ve never seen fresh flame fruit before?”

“You’re Fabian Branch’s wife, aren’t you?” one of the asked.

“Sample,” she said, looking down her high-bridged Egyptian nose at them. “He took my name.”

“And I assume you’re all right with his… extracurricular activities?”

Zahra’s eye’s widened. “His what?”

She was waiting for Fabian when he came home from work.

“Agnes Crumplebottom! You’ve been seen with THE Agnes Crumplebottom? Behind my back!”

Fabian was dumbfounded. “Wha… huh? I what?”

“Don’t play stupid with me! You haven’t even been trying to hide it. People talk.”

Then it seemed to sink in.

“Oh my God, Zahra. I’m so sorry. It’s not how you think!”

“All right, then, how do I think, and how is it different?”

Fabian was silent.

Zahra’s throat caught. “Are you seeing her?”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I love you. I love Ada. I never meant to do anything to hurt you.”

Zahra couldn’t even cry. Her voice was flat when she answered. “And it never occurred to you that cheating on your wife would hurt your family.”

“I….” He just stopped, shaking his head. “I’m sorry.”

Fabian was exhausted from a hard day of work followed by a harder evening, and he fell asleep immediately. Zahra just stood there staring at him, unable to face being so physically close to the man she had trusted absolutely.

She went downstairs to find Ada.

What would become of them now? What kind of future could she possibly have with her beloved daughter’s father?

After a while, she couldn’t think anymore.

The big decisions would have to wait until tomorrow.

(Oooookay. So the way this runs out on the other side of the computer screen is like this:

Aww. Fabian and Zahra are so cute together. And it’s sweet that he’s been waiting for her all this time! Let’s look in his relationship bar. Oh, I guess he wasn’t just pining away. There’s a heart under Agnes Crumplebottom. Sly dog. I guess they had a thing before he got hitched.

Hmmm. Didn’t I read something about the Generations patch doing something with romantic reputation? Those leftover romantic interests can really screw up your PC characters’ marriage. I’m supposed to do something about it then. How do you get rid of a romantic interest? Things seem to be going fine, so I’ll just have him call her up one day and…

OH CRAP.)

3.25 Welcome Ada

Sep9

Quick aside.

Ever wonder what happened to Lancelot’s ex-girlfriend Malika Williams? Well, let’s see. She married Gordon Lacy and had two daughters, Lisette and Beatriz, who I can’t tell apart. She reached a fairly high rank in the criminal career (yeah, criminal), then retired when her beloved husband died. These days, she’s keeping herself fit by taking long jogs in the park and trying to nudge her daughters out of the house.

She did just fine without Lance. But that doesn’t mean she ever quite forgave him.

Back to the Samples, Zahra spent most of her maternity leave in the garden.

The science center prized people who would make anything grow. And besides, plants were easier to understand than people most of the time.

As evening fell, she felt an all-too-familiar pain in her abdomen.

Meanwhile, Fabian was out at the diner, hanging out with his partner Hank Goddard and half the rest of the police force.

Zahra didn’t complain. The garden in the evening was peaceful, and it seemed like as good a place as any to labor. So she stayed out amongst the trees and growing things and tried to breathe into her contractions. After the unpleasantness of pregnancy, the pains of childbirth were almost a relief.

Then Fabian got home, and all hell broke loose.

“You’re having a baby in the garden! With the plants!”

“Yes… ooof…. that’s the idea.”

“Shouldn’t I take you to the hospital or something?”

“No, I think I’m fine here.”

“Is there ANYTHING I can do?”

“Just don’t…. oooof…. get in my way.”

Then his freaking out alerted the whole household, and Mom and Dad came out to worry about her too.

Family.

Meanwhile, inside, Charles was confused.

“Hey, Uncle Adjo, is Mom ok? She sounds like she’s in pain!”

“Ummm… She’s going to be fine. Really. Why, um, don’t we go play until your brother or sister is born?”

So Adjo distracted his nephew.

Then, at 11:15 PM, Ada Lovelace Sample came into the world.

Mom and baby are doing fine.

Dad is still recovering.

(Finally this kid is born! So much is going on simultaneously. I need a smaller household. Whew. Also, sorry for all the super-dark pictures. I’ve never come up with a way to light the back yard that I like.

Also, seeing as I went through childbirth in the last year, I can only wish it were as easy and straightforward in real life.)

3.24 Who You Know

Sep9

Adjo was sitting up reading in his teenager bed when Shanni poked her head in on the way to work. He had the kid’s room to himself now, since Charles was sleeping under the stars, but Zahra’s baby would be coming any day now.

“You’re still in your pajamas!”

He smirked at her. “Off to the grind, then? Put in your time for The Man? Another day another dollar?”

“If all that means I’m going to work, then yes. What are YOU doing?”

“Researching career options. You see, I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed.”

“You want to be a bum?”

“It’s a movie quote, doofus. Say Anything. That movie was epic.”

At breakfast, he threw out his plans to Mom and Dad.

“So, the thing is, I want to be my own boss, and I think I can make it work. It’ll take a little bit to turn my guitar skills into something that can pay the bills, but I think I can have a working business up and going pretty quick. And, um, until then, do you mind if I stayed in my old room?”

“If this is your choice,” Lance said in a voice hoarse with emotion, “Then you know we support you.”
All right, now was the time to put his money where his mouth was. Or use his mouth to make his money. Or whatever broken proverb fit here.

He took out his guitar and began his life as a busker. For all his bravado, he had no illusions about how easy this was going to be. But he had to believe in himself.

And make a little money.

(Good grief. SO MUCH happened with the twins before the new baby is even born!)

3.23 Responsible Babe

Sep8

Shanni woke up that morning in the bedroom she had shared with Adjo and Charles for most of her school years, and she knew something had to change. The breakfast of leftover birthday cake from Charles’ birthday just underscored the problem.

“Wow, you’re up,” it was Zahra. Or possibly two Zahras stuffed together.

Shanni shrugged. “It’s not exactly the crack of dawn.”

“You usually sleep till noon when there’s no school.”

Shanni sighed. “That’s the problem, of course. There’s no school forever. I have to figure out what to do with my life.”

Zahra nodded, trying to be sympathetic. She knew this had to be a hard decision, but she’d known what she wanted to be when she grew up from about the age of eight. “What do you think you’re good at?”

“I don’t know. I party pretty well. People say I’m a snappy dresser.”

Zahra raised an eyebrow. “People say you’re hot. I think they prefer the clothes off.”

Shanni choked. Should she blush or smack her?

“That’s not the kind of job I’m looking for. I need to support myself.”

Zahra looked up from her breakfast at met Shanni’s eyes. “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to. You know that.”

Shanni smiled wanly. “Thanks, sis.”

She took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves.

She could do this.

It was no big deal to support youself. Everyone did it. Well, almost everyone.

She needed something to symbolize the new, stronger person she was going to be. So she turned into the tattoo artist’s office instead of the styling salon, as she’d planned.

She was emerging from her cocoon.

And she was the new stylist at the salon. Start time 9am. No problem.

With Zahra’s permission, she moved out of the kids’ room and took over Cycl0n3’s old room downstairs. It had been empty since Cycl0n3 married Zahra and moved upstairs.

She wasn’t going to live with her family forever, but better to stick around until the time was right.

Simantics: Bloopers 2!

Sep6

Adjo does the peepee dance.

Charles’ birthday had just started, and Zahra was coming to pick up Charles to blow out the candles. So there was at least a half-sim-hour before anything was going to happen, but apparently this still prevented Adjo from peeing autonomously.

Lance guards Shanni while she sleeps.

I really have no idea what’s going on here, or even why he was in the kids’ room.

Oh, and I had to play through Adjo and Shanni’s birthday twice because of a game crash, and THIS is what Adjo aged into the first time:

3.22 Interlude

Sep6

The Sample household at night. The moon is high, and many Sim thoughts drift to romance.

Their house is perched on a cliff overlooking breathtaking views of the ocean. That part is fine. They picked the real estate for those views. But unbeknownst to the family, which tends to focus on itself, that cliff stands over makeout beach. This is the hot spot where Sims sneak out to make sweet nothings with their lovers.

Tonight, Yumi Sekemoto feels her blood warming. She has a new sweetheart, and you really are never too old.

He makes her feel so young.

Why does he make her feel so young? Because her new sweetheart is….

Michael Bachelor!

Seriously?

Seriously?

This is a real Harold and Maud thing. Yumi is an elderly elder — she doesn’t have more than 2-4 days left. Michael just graduated from high school. I hope dating Shanni didn’t scar him for life.

(I have got to spend more nights looking to see who his hanging out down on the beach. This stuff is hilarious.)